Fall of Giants

“Lady Maud is different from every other woman of her class I have ever met,” Ethel began. “When I started work as a maid at Tŷ Gwyn, she was the only member of the family who even noticed me. Here in London, when young unmarried women have babies, most respectable ladies grumble about moral decay-but Maud offers them real practical help. In the East End of London, she is regarded as a saint. However, she has her faults, and they are grave.”

Maud thought: What now?

“She is too serious to attract a normal man,” Ethel went on. “All the most eligible men in London have been drawn to her by her striking good looks and vivacious personality, only to be frightened away by her brains and her tough political realism. Some time ago I realized it would take a rare man to win her. He would have to be clever, but open-minded; strictly moral, but not orthodox; strong, but not domineering.” Ethel smiled. “I thought it was impossible. And then, January, he came up the hill from Aberowen in the station taxi and walked into Tŷ Gwyn, and the wait was over.” She raised her glass. “To the groom!”

They all drank again, then Ethel took Robert’s arm. “Now you can take me to the Ritz for dinner, Robert,” she said.

Walter seemed surprised. “I assumed we would all have dinner together here,” he said.

Ethel gave him an arch look. “Don’t be daft, man,” she said. She walked to the door, drawing Robert with her.

“Good night,” Robert said, though it was only six o’clock. The two of them went out and closed the door.

Maud laughed. Walter said: “That housekeeper is extremely intelligent.”

“She understands me,” Maud said. She went to the door and turned the key. “Now,” she said. “The bedroom.”

“Would you prefer to undress in private?” Walter said, looking worried.

“Not really,” Maud said. “Wouldn’t you like to watch?”

He swallowed, and when he spoke he sounded a little hoarse. “Yes, please,” he said. “I would.” He held the bedroom door open and she passed through.

Despite her show of boldness, she felt nervous as she sat on the edge of the bed and took off her shoes. No one had seen her naked since she was eight years old. She did not know whether her body was beautiful because she had never seen anyone else’s. By comparison with the nudes in museums, she had small breasts and wide hips. And there was a growth of hair between her legs that paintings never showed. Would Walter think her body was ugly?

He took off his coat and waistcoat and hung them up in a matter-of-fact way. She supposed they would get used to this one day. Everyone did it all the time. But somehow it felt strange, more intimidating than exciting.

She pulled down her stockings and took off her hat. She had nothing else superfluous. The next step was the big one. She stood up.

Walter stopped undoing his tie.

Quickly, Maud unfastened her dress and let it fall to the floor. Then she dropped her petticoat and pulled her lace blouse over her head. She stood in front of him in her underwear and watched his face.

“You are so beautiful,” he said in a half whisper.

She smiled. He always said the right thing.

He took her in his arms and kissed her. She began to feel less nervous, almost relaxed. She savored the touch of his mouth on hers, the gentle lips and the bristles of the mustache. She stroked his cheek, squeezed his earlobe between her fingertips, and ran her hand around the column of his neck, feeling everything with heightened awareness, thinking: All this is mine now.

“Let’s lie down,” he said.

“No,” she said. “Not yet.” She stepped away from him. “Wait.” She took off her chemise, revealing that she was wearing one of the newfangled brassieres. She reached behind her back, unfastened the clasp, and threw it to the floor. She looked at him defiantly, daring him not to like her breasts.

He said: “They are beautiful-may I kiss them?”

“You may do anything you like,” she said, feeling deliciously wanton.

He bent his head to her chest and kissed one, then the other, letting his lips brush delicately across her nipples, which stood up suddenly as if the air had turned cold. She had a sudden yen to do the same to him, and wondered if he would think it odd.

He might have kissed her breasts forever. She pushed him away gently. “Take off the rest of your clothes,” she said. “Quickly.”

He pulled off shoes, socks, tie, shirt, undershirt, and trousers; then he hesitated. “I feel shy,” he said, laughing. “I don’t know why.”

“I’ll go first,” she said. She untied the string of her drawers and pulled them off. When she looked up he was naked too, and she saw with a shock that his penis was sticking up from the thatch of fair hair at his groin. She remembered grasping it through his clothes at the opera, and now she wanted to touch it again.

He said: “May we now lie down?”

He sounded so correct that she laughed. A hurt look crossed his face, and she was immediately apologetic. “I love you,” she said, and his expression cleared. “Please let us lie down.” She was so excited she felt she might burst.