Jimmy the Kid

It took twenty-five minutes to drive to Maximilian's Used Cars. When he got there, Murch took the side street next to the car lot, then turned in at the anonymous driveway behind it. He stopped amid tall weeds and the white clapboard backs of garages, climbed down out of the cab, and went through an unlocked gate in a chain-link fence. A path through weeds and shrubbery led him to the rear of Maximilian's office structure, a California-looking thing in pink stucco. He opened a door, went through into a gray-paneled office, and heard Max in the next room saying, "What you got to read in the guarantee is every word."

A very angry male voice said, loudly, "If you read every word of that guarantee, you don't guarantee anything!"

"That's how you say," Max said.

Murch opened the connecting door, and stuck his head in. The customer was big and muscular, but intellectually out of his depth. He had the bewildered look of a swimmer who hadn't known there were whirlpools anywhere around here. Murch, ignoring him, said to Max, "Max, could I interrupt?"

"I hope so," Max said. A big old man with heavy jowls and thin white hair, he always wore a dark vest, wide open, and no tie. His white shirt was usually smudged from leaning against used cars. Now, getting to his feet from behind his desk, he said to the customer, "Read a little. Read the words. I'll be back."

"You better be," the customer said, but there wasn't any real threat in it. He was buffaloed, and he was himself beginning to understand it.

Max and Murch crossed the empty office and went out the rear door. Murch said, "That the same customer as when I called?"

"Some of them just won't go away," Max said. "Don't they got homes? Some friend of yours called. On the telephone. You shouldn't go away without him coming here."

"Who?"

"A little name," Max said, as they followed the path toward the chain-link fence. "Chip? Shep?"

"Kelp?"

"If you say so," Max said, and they stepped out onto the driveway, now filled with the bulk of the car carrier. Max looked at it. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph," he said. "You stealing now in bunches? They ain't grapes!"

"It was there," Murch said. "I put the Continental on the back."

Max went down along the side of the car carrier, looking at the automobiles in there. "In broad daylight," he said. "You go talk to the customer."

Murch shook his head. "I don't talk to customers," he said. "What I do, I drive."

"So I see." Max looked at the cars and the car carrier. "I'll take them," he said.

"Fine."

"Come around next week, we'll talk money."

"Okay."

Max pointed down the driveway. "You'll put them around by the body shop," he said.

"Have your people do it," Murch said. "I'd rather not stick around."

"What about the truck?"

Murch frowned at the truck. "What about it?"

"I don't want it," Max said. "You read the sign out front, it says used cars. I got no use for a truck."

"Neither do I, Max."

"Take it back where you got it."

"I don't want to drive it any more."

"You can't dump a stolen truck on me, Stanley, that isn't a thing to do."

"Take it someplace else tonight," Murch told him. "Just park it out along the road. Have one of your people do it."

"Why not keep it?" Max suggested. "You could drive around in it, every time you see a nice car just toss it in."

Murch looked at the truck, considering the idea. It had a certain appeal. But finally he shook his head and said, "No, it wouldn't be any good. Too noticeable."

"Stan, if I got to unload this truck, it's got to cost you."

"Sure, Max, we'll take ten bucks off." Murch shrugged it away, and turned to go back to the used-car lot. Behind him, Max looked at the car carrier the way the dissatisfied customer had looked at Max. Then he shook his head, and followed Murch through the chain-link fence.

The customer wasn't in the office. "Now what?" Max said. "I'll tell you, he's out front breaking windshields. We had one just last spring, came in, complained about all that stuff they always complain about, and first thing you know he's got a wrench, he's breaking windshields right and left. Terrible."

"Terrible," Murch agreed.

The two of them walked out the front door. Used cars were lined up on three sides of them, with placards in their windshields. Max pointed. "There he is! And who's that with him?"

"That's my friend Kelp," Murch said.

Kelp and the customer were standing next to a dilapidated green Chevrolet. They were talking. The customer seemed less aggrieved than before. In fact, he chuckled at something Kelp said, and he didn't seem to mind it when Kelp patted his arm.

"Ho ho," Max said. He looked and sounded awed.

Kelp and the customer shook hands. The customer got into the green Chevrolet and started the engine. It sounded awful. Kelp waved to him and the customer waved back and drove off. Something under the car was scraping, causing an even worse noise than the engine and also causing sparks. The Chevrolet jounced down the driveway and went away.