Lilian Jackson Braun - Cat 14 Who Wasn't There

"I really would! I miss having someone to cook for. What other care do they require?" "They appreciate brushing once a day, and intelligent conversation, and a little entertainment. Koko prefers activities that challenge his intellect; he's a very cerebral animal.

" As they both turned to look at him in admiration, Kao K'o Kung rolled over and groomed the base of his tail.

"Forget I said that," Qwilleran added.

"That scoundrel likes to make a fool of me." Mildred picked up the female cat, who was now rubbing against her ankles. They were slender and shapely, he noted, for a woman of her weight.

"Yum Yum is so hug gable she said.

"Yes, propinquity is her middle name... And now let me demonstrate the fine art of policing their commode." After the briefing they sat in the lounge area with coffee and Mildred's date-nut bars. Massive, square-cut, deep cushioned chairs and sofas were arranged around a large square coffee table, facing the fireplace cube--a large white monolith with fireplaces on two sides and bookshelves on a third. It was high enough for two Siamese cats to perch like Olympian deities, looking down on the mere mortals below.

"Now, is there anything else I should know?" Mildred asked.

"Mrs. Fulgrove comes in once a week for light cleaning. Mr. O'Dell is our handyman. We have a colony of fruit flies that came with the apple barn, and they come out of hibernation at this time of year. Koko catches them on the wing and munches them as hors d'oeuvres.... I guess that's about all." "And tell me what you're going to do in Scotland." "Listen to bagpipes, stay in country inns, visit castles, eat haggis--all the usual, I imagine." "Ugh! Haggis is the innards of sheep, boiled and cut up and mixed with oatmeal and spices, then sewn into a sheep's stomach.

" "Sounds delicious." Mildred's attitude turned suddenly sober.

"Before coming over here," she said, "I read the tarot cards for you, and I think you ought to know what they revealed." "It doesn't sound propitious, but let's hear it." Qwilleran was skeptical about card reading, palmistry, and all the occult sciences that interested his plump friend, but she was sincere, and he always humored her.

"Do you mind if I tape this, Mildred?" "Not at all. I wish you would." He had already turned on his pocket-size recorder.

"What did you learn?" "Strangely, when I asked the cards about you," she began, "the answers concerned someone else-someone in danger." "Man or woman?" "A mature woman. A woman with strict habits and upright values." That's Polly, Qwilleran thought; someone has told Mildred about the prowler.

"What kind of danger?" he asked.

"Well, the cards were rather vague, so I brought the pack with me, and I'd like to do another reading-in your presence." With mental reservations, he agreed, and they moved to the card table, Qwilleran politely averting his eyes as Mildred struggled to get out of the deep-seated lounge chair. When she asked him to shuffle the pack, Koko hopped to the table with an excited "Yowl" "Want me to lock him up, Mildred?" Qwilleran suggested.

"No, let him watch." She was laying out a certain number of cards in a certain pattern.

"I'm using the Celtic pattern for this reading. This card is the significat or They were colorful cards in fanciful designs, and as she manipulated them she mumbled to herself. There was a thoughtful pause.

Then she said, "I see a journey... a journey across water... with stormy weather ahead." "Glad I packed my raincoat," he said lightly.

"Stormy weather could stand for dissension, mistakes, accidents, or whatever.

" "Too bad I didn't know before I paid my money." "You're not taking this seriously, Qwill." "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound flippant." "This final card... is not auspicious... You might consider it a warning." The card showed a scene in a grape arbor, with a woman in flowing robes, a bird perched on her wrist, and a scattering of gold coins.

"Looks like a happy card to me," Qwilleran observed.

"But it's reversed." "Meaning..." "Some kind of fraud... or treachery." "Yowl" said Koko.

"In conclusion... I urge you to be prepared... for the unexpected." Mildred always became short of breath toward the end of a reading, and her energy flagged, so Qwilleran thought it best not to pursue the subject.

"Very interesting. Thank you," he said as he turned off the tape recorder. Mildred walked away from the table and took a few deep breaths. When she recovered, she said, "I'll look forward to hearing the outcome." "So will I!" Qwilleran admitted.

"When do you leave?" "I catch the shuttle to Chicago tomorrow noon, and the international flight leaves at six P.M. After changing planes at Heathrow and going through the formalities, I should arrive in Glasgow at ten A.M." their time. I'm leaving a list of telephone numbers where we can be reached, and don't hesitate to call if there's an emergency. Mildred, you don't realize how much this is appreciated by all three of us." "The pleasure is all mine.