Lilian Jackson Braun - Cat 14 Who Wasn't There

"Please accept it." "His name is Tiny Tim," Zella said. With Tiny Tim in his pocket, Qwilleran left the house, saying to himself, Whew! Back home at the barn, his first move was to phone Riker at the office. He said, "Arch, you owe me one! I've just spent a tedious afternoon with the Chisholm sisters, drinking tea and eating shortbread, and they want me to be godfather to their next teddy bear." "What about their idea for a book?" "They never mentioned a book. They just wanted someone to visit and be impressed by their collection, but I think we should do a story. Send a good photographer over there, like John Bushland, and I'll bet the wire services will pick it up!" While he was on the phone, the Siamese were rifling his jacket pocket. They knew instinctively that something new had arrived.

"Oh, no, you don't!" he scolded when he finished the phone call. They were sinking their fangs into the spongy body. He hid Tiny Tim in the kitchen drawer where he always tossed his car keys. Then he checked the answering machine; there was still no call from Polly, all the more reason why he wanted to consult Melinda. If she agreed that Irma's attack could have been drug-induced, he would be in the clear. The entire cast was scheduled to rehearse that night; he could get an answer from her during a break, without personal complications. The K Theatre, built within the field stone shell of the former Klingenschoen mansion, was small, only 300 seats--but it was large enough for the Pickax Theatre Club. The auditorium was a steeply raked amphitheatre with a thrust stage, and there was a gracious lobby. When Qwilleran arrived there Wednesday night, he found Larry Lanspeak in the lobby, bent over the drinking fountain.

"Your beard looks promising," he told the actor. Larry rubbed his chin.

"In two more weeks it should be good enough for an eleventh-century Scottish king." "How's the play shaping up?" "Not bad. Not bad at all! When we were away, Fran worked with the supporting cast in the eleven scenes where Melinda and I don't appear, and she did a good job. This is our first full cast rehearsal." Larry returned to the stage, and Qwilleran slipped into the back row. Some of the actors were draped over the front seats, awaiting their scenes.

Dwight was in front of the stage directing performers who were running lines without the book. One of them, playing a messenger, was making his exit, and Lady Macbeth was saying, "Unsex me here, and fill me from the crown to the toe top full of direst cruelty!" "Hold it!" the director said.

"Bring the messenger back, and take it again, Melinda, from Thou'rt mad to say it! Give it some fire!" They repeated the scene. Then Larry made his entrance.

"My dearest love, Duncan comes here tonight!" Melinda replied, "And when goes hence?" "Tomorrow--was Larry interrupted his own line, saying, "Dwight, how do I play this? Is Macbeth honored that the king is going to stay under his roof? Or is he already planning to kill him? What is he thinking at this moment?" The director said, "Lady Macbeth plants the idea of murder in his head with her line, And when goes hence? That means, Melinda, that you've got to give her question some powerful innuendo.

And--which enough-goes--hence? The audience should feel a chill up the spine... Got it, everybody?" "Got it," said Larry.

"She plants the idea, and I pause before Tomorrow. In that split second the audience realizes the king will never leave the castle alive." Qwilleran was impressed with Dwight's direction and told him so during the break, intercepting him on the way to the drinking fountain.

"Thanks," he said.

"Larry's a joy to direct, let me say that. Now I know why he has such a great reputation in community theatre. I'd heard about him in Iowa before I knew there was any such place as Pickax." "Will the show be ready by the last Thursday in the month?" "It's got to be! The tickets are printed." Carol walked up the aisle to get a drink of water, and Qwilleran said to her, "Why don't you ask the K Foundation to give you a drinking fountain backstage?" "Not a bad idea. It would save wear and tear on the aisle carpet.

Did I hear someone mention tickets?" she asked.

"We could use some help in the box office, Qwill. Are you available?" "If it doesn't require any rare skills or mental acuity." To Dwight she said, "Qwill lives right behind the theatre--in an apple barn!" Then she went on her way to the lobby.

"I've heard about your barn," the director said.

"I'm partial to barns." "Stop in for a drink some night after rehearsal." "I'll do that. I'll bring my tin whistle, and you can tell me how you react to my witch music." There was a whiff of perfume, and Melinda sauntered up the aisle en route to the drinking fountain.

"Hi, lover," she said with surprise and pleasure.

"What are you doing here?" Dwight gave a quick look at both of them and drifted away to the lobby.