My Secret Life

Next morning I had a fear, and was annoyed with myself. If the girl said anything it would be all over the parish in the afternoon, and in my aunt's ears the next day; all that for a dirty little farm-laborer. I had had none of that sensuous delight which both men-tally and physically is found in getting into a virgin, had never thought of having her as one, nor did I recollect much cunt resistance to my penetration; but she certainly was a virgin. In my furious lust, and with my unbendable stiff prick I must have hit the mark, and burst through it at one or two cunt-rending shoves. She had given a loud cry in the midst of it, “Oh! pray now, — oh ! pray”, — but I had heeded it not. What excited me was her youth, her size, and the idea of having a little cunt with but little hair on it, some-thing smaller than Molly's. In bed, thinking of, and funking consequences, I longed for a girl still smaller, for one with no hair on her cunt at all. On further reflection I calmed. She had taken the money, and let me do it a second time; it was all right, and I rose, and went to the scene of my exploit.

The girl was not at work in the fields, and my funk returned. “Smith”, said I, “is Nelly (let's call her Nelly) here?” “No, nor her sisters,” “Sisters?” “Yes there are two; one a woman called ***, very much older, the other younger than Nelly, and the young un they says be with kid.”

I went to the farm-yard, there saw Fred talking to Molly, “Ulloh, you have taken a letch there.” “I'll have her”, said he. Pender went across the yard. “I would sooner have her”, said I. “Aye, a damned fine woman, but coarse, smells strong I should say when she sweats, or is randy, and I like them younger.” I was jealous about Molly, and walked away. Fred joined me, and after dinner, I like a fool told him all about the girl ravished in the root-shed in the Twelve-Acre field.

“Was she a virgin? — she is a plump little bitch, — you were in luck, — oh ! never fear there will be no row; the saying down here is, 'They all take it by the time they have half-an-inch of hair on their cunts.' She will be rather proud you have fuced her than otherwise. Has she much hair there? — has she any bubbies ?” I told him all I knew, which was but little, not recollecting even if she had any cunt-wig at all.

Next day the two sisters were at work again. I told Smith that after his dinner I wished to speak to the girl. The old cock-bawd told me to wait at the root-shed; and the girl came there to fetch his handerchief which he left purposely. When she saw me how she started. No, she had told no one, but was not going to let me do what I liked. A kiss. “I don't like your hand on my legs, — oh ! now you said you would not, — take your hand away.”

My finger was on her cunt, I was feeling what little hair she had, my finger went up it, oh ! how tight it was! “Now darling let me, I won't let you go till you do, — there, what a dear little belly, — let me kiss it.” “They will wonder why I am gone so long, — my sister will be asking questions, — do let me go.” “No.” “Oh !” I had her on the straw. “Be quiet dear,-my prick's up you, — be quiet,-a-h !-ah l”

With her cunt well buttered off she ran. I buttoned up. Just then at the door appeared Fred holding his sides and laughing. “What's up Fred?” “Oh!—oh!—oh !” “What's the fun ?” “Oh !—oh !-I've been looking at you fuck the little bitch. I saw her go in, and you go to the shed an hour ago, but did not know you were there then, so thought I would like the young one; it's five days since I've had a woman, and as I was going in heard your two voices, listened and looked till you had done the job.”

“It's a damned unhandsome thing”, said I in a rage. “You would have looked at me if you had caught me”. said Fred. “You leave the girl alone, it's my manor.” “All right, but I'll have little Molly, I have given her a kiss.” Off he went, leaving me jealous about that one as well. He was treading on my heels a little too much to please me.

Four women I had poked now, being like a cock among hens, cared about neither, but could not bear the idea of Fred going up them, though I knew it was useless to try to prevent the young squire, the future master, a fine officer. Pender said to me one day, “The squire means harm to Molly; it's a shame for an officer like him to harm a poor girl; I caught him kissing her, and putting his hands up her petticoats. I'll tell Missus if I see any more of it.” “Do”, said I, “you tell my aunt.”

So she did, and aunt requested Fred not to go to the farm-yard, and Molly was all but locked up. In a few days Fred said it was damned slow, and went to London. I for a change went with him.