My Secret Life

Now for a bit of experience which I write now, and years after I wrote this chapter of my narrative. I had a married woman who was fond of me. She assured me that whenever I had her, it was perfectly certain that her husband would do it to her that night. She thought that my fucking acted as a charm to fetch the other man. He neglected her for other women, and used, although a young vigorous man, to do it but rarely to her; but whenever my sperm had suffused itself in her cunt, his went there the same night. “You spend too then?” said I. “I do”, said she, “I think so much of you, so much of the coincidence and go home so wondering whether he will do it or not, that directly he pulls me about I think of you, and then fancy it is you doing it to me, not him, and I spend. I am angry with myself afterwards, but can't help it.”

Pender had said her mother was unwell as an excuse to get to ***, so must be back quickly. She was lying speechless, with eyes closed and my prick up her, I silently reposing on her, when the dock struck. Up she jumped, uncunting me, saying, “I must. go, I am to fetch the dinner from the bake-house, then I must get back home, unless P. comes”, and rapidly off she went scarcely dressed, and without washing her cunt.

Chapter X

Nelly and Sophy. • The beer-house again. • Sophy's belly. • On the road. • Against a tree. • At the baudy house with Sophy. • Her narrative. • Tom and the three sisters. • Fred on the scent.-Pender's troubles.

I had some food at an hotel, then returning on foot saw at the end of the lane two peasant girls in their Sunday finery. I looked at first without recognizing them, but as I got close saw one was Nelly, the girl I had raped. She stopped, I smiled. “You here, why?” “Taking a walk sir.” “Come with me.” She hesitated, looked at the other girl. “Never mind”, said I, “bring your friend with you.” Two minutes brought us to the beer-house again. “Stay here”, said I. I went to the side entrance which was up a yard, told the woman who stared when she opened the door to me to show the girls up the other way. They came through the shop, and stood curtsying when they came into the little sitting room.

I wanted Nelly when I saw her, and hence what I did; but was embarrassed now, for with the other in the room I did not know how to proceed without compromising her; so sent for some spirits. They sat Sheepishly. I said to Nelly with the view of getting rid of the other, “Perhaps your friend would like to call for you presently.” “She is my sister”, said Nelly. Impulsively I cried, “Your sister?” — “why she is the girl who was in the family way before she was four-teen.” “Oo—h !” said Nelly's sister, “what a lie, — what a shame to say such things of a girl, — who said so?” I was disconcerted. “I heard it, but can't recollect who.” Nelly never spoke, but sat looking at me with her tongue out on one side, and a funny expression in her eye. “I'll go”, said her sister. “Don't go”, said Nelly, “the gent's asked us in, and will be offended, -won't you sir?” “Yes”, I replied.

The liquor came, I dosed them with it, and a letch for the sister came over me. “She in family way, that young thing,-is it so ? — how I should like to see her belly.” My conversation got warm, then baudy, the girls got warm, and laughed at my smut. From kissing one, I got to kiss the other, then to pinch, poke and feel their legs, I spoke about women being in the family way, made light of it, wished I was so myself, and so on, and they let out as the liquor worked, and I questioned.

The younger was a little over fourteen years old, Melly only eleven months older. Said I, “A girl can't be in the family way before she is fourteen.” “Oh ! yes she can”, said Nelly. “How do you know?” She laughed. I plied the liquor, got the young one on to my knee, and my hand up her clothes. A yell, a threat to go, “nonsense”, from Nelly. Then I shoved my hand up Nelly's petticoats, — which she permitted quietly. Then I had a strange whim.

“Stand close together with your backs to me, and put your hands behind you, and I will give you some-thing before you go; then each shall ask the other to guess what I have put in her hand.” They did, and expected money. I pulled out my prick and balls, one girl's hand I guided under my balls, the other's round my prick. They touched at the same time and knew what it was, and turning round, “It's his thing”, said the youngest.

“You knew it was a man's prick”, said I. “you have felt one, and one has been into you, — let's feel your cunt, do, — you are in the family way, I know you are.”