The Female Orgasm Black Book

Ultimately, they wind up screwing up. Too much focus and drive on your part to “give” an orgasm can have the same effect on your partner.

If the stress and pressure get too high, she may be left unsatisfied. And because you have set this “goal” to have an orgasm in a first place, and now that the goal is un-met, both you and your partner will be left feeling disappointed.

If this approach is sustained, you may wind up anchoring these feelings of disappointment to your times of physical intimacy — carrying it over into your next sexual encounter, further increasing her “performance anxiety.”

The Right Mindset

Here’s the paradox…

If you want to give an orgasm, you have to NOT focus on the orgasm!

Instead of focusing on the goal of achieving an orgasm, start focusing your attention on the pleasure of the process.

The key is, if you focus on giving pleasure, and making sure she’s feeling good, that orgasm will come (no pun intended.)

Key #2: Communication

Not every technique will work on every woman. One woman may prefer one particular stroke or rhythm more than the next woman does.

To find out what really makes your woman tick, you’ve got to open the lines of communication. You need to find out what she likes as you’re applying a technique. That way, you can optimize your rhythm, speed, stroke etc. to match what she likes best.

Aim for open verbal communication, but if your lover isn’t as brave speaking her mind (especially when you’re face is buried between her thighs) you can opt for more non-verbal communicative methods, such as squeezing hands or body response.

Communicating well with your partner can make it much easier to bring her pleasure, and ultimately, more and better orgasms.

Key #3: Escalation

One of the biggest mistake men make is moving too fast, too soon. It works fine for us, but for a woman, she might not be ready yet.

For guys, we can come to an orgasm very quickly. Men basically need to get aroused, stimulated, and we’re done.

Women, on the other hand, need a gradual escalation to come to a point of orgasm.

With each of the stages of sexual response (you’ll find out about this in an upcoming chapter), the intensity of the stimulation is increased.

Key #4: Anticipation and Tension

Anticipation (otherwise known as “teasing” and “excitement”) is a powerful and effective tool to use. In order to multiply the effects of your sexual techniques, you’ll have to add anticipation into the mix. Anticipation will get her more aroused, give her a greater chance to have an orgasm and focuses her mind on the physical pleasure she’s experiencing.

And… while you’re building up anticipation, at the same time you’re cranking up sexual tension as well.

The sexual tension will have to be released (in the form of an orgasm).

The key to building up anticipation is to focus on the areas surround the main “target” before you actually hit the target.

For example, you can do this by rubbing her inner thighs, buttocks and hips before actually touching her vagina. While you’re rubbing those body parts, she’s getting wetter and wetter by the second, anticipating you to finally move onto her vagina. At the same time, the tension is growing within her and at some point, it’ll have to be released.

A note: when you’re building up the anticipation in her, it’s going to build up in you as well! It’s going to be your job to maintain self control, and keep the escalation at the right pace.

Key #5: Relaxation

A woman has to be completely relaxed to have an orgasm.

If she has her mind on her job, self-conscious about how her body looks, trying to have an orgasm, or whatever the case may be, she’s not going to be relaxed. She’ll be tensed, and her body won’t allow her to release an orgasm.

Your job?

To help those troubles melt away and disappear (even if only temporarily) with your words, touch, attitude and preparations. Your lover must be totally and completely relaxed and free from tension.

The only tension she should be feeling is sexual tension!

Key #6: Give Before You Receive

Before receiving any sexual pleasure from her, you have to make sure she receives sexual pleasure from you first.

Why?

It shows that:

1) You have control of your sexual desires

2) She’ll be in a more “ready” state to have an orgasm while having intercourse, and

3) After she has an orgasm, she'll be ready and willing to reciprocate to the best of her abilities!

Seriously, if you can compare the quality of the blow job she gives you, the one performed without her experiencing an orgasm FIRST, will, ironically, SUCK compared to the blow job she gives you after she RECIEVES an orgasm.

Sex goes the same too…

Go ahead and test this out for yourself if you don't believe me.

Tips for the Woman in Your Life