William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back

—Leia, I.

LANDO

[kissing her hand:] Most welcome, Leia.

HAN

—Aye, ’tis well, ’tis well.Thou ever wert a lover of fair things.

C-3PO

C-3PO am I, and at your service…

[Lando turns his back.

[Aside:] I wonder that I still am talking here:Nobody marks me.

LANDO

[to Han:]—What doth ail the ship?

HAN

The hyperdrive.

LANDO

—My people shall beginWork on’t immediately. I tell thee,That ship in many cases sav’d my life!What stories of adventure I could tellIn which the ship doth play the central part.She is the fastest heap of scrap in allThe galaxy!

LEIA

[aside:]—He loveth this old shipAlmost as much as Han! This love of ships,’Tis like an illness wild within these men.

HAN

Now tell me of thy life and bus’ness, friend—How doth the gas mine for thee? Doth it pay?

LANDO

’Tis credits in and credits out, but more,I fear, of out than in. We are but small,

An outpost minor. Thus have I supplyDilemmas, labor difficulties, too.

HAN

Ha, ha!

LANDO

—Why say’st thou “Ha”? And wherefore twice?

HAN

’Tis thou. Pray, hearken unto thine own voice.So rife with deep responsibility,So serious, experienc’d, mature,And bus’nesslike. ’Twas not my expectation.

LANDO

[aside:] O weep, my heart, to see him brings such joy,And pains me more to seal his awful fate.[To Han:] Pray, hear me truly, Han. Whatever elseMay happen, hear these words: this moment doth

Recall for me our past together, whichIs sweetness in my memory.

HAN

—Indeed.’Tis well to see thee thriving so, my friend.

LANDO

And thou hast hit the mark: I duties bear,And grave responsibilities are mine.’Tis but the price of one’s success, I s’pose.

[Exeunt Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, and Lando.

Enter another 3PO DROID.

C-3PO

What joy to see a kind, familiar face.

DROID

E chu ta!

[Exit 3PO droid.

C-3PO

—O, how rude! But pray, what’s here?

[C-3PO enters another room.

Was that an R2 unit’s sound I heard?Is’t possible that R2-D2’s here?Hello, who is herein?

Enter aSHADOWY FIGURE.

FIGURE

—Say, who art thou?

C-3PO

Alas, this is my end! An enemy—If only I could others tell. O me!

[Exeunt as C-3PO is shot into pieces.

EnterPRINCESS LEIA.

LEIA