William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back

I have been poring o’er our city’s plans.

GUARD 1

What’s this? A newfound interest? Shalt thouTurn architect?

GUARD 2

—Nay, nay, and yet I haveFound something curious.

GUARD 1

—Indeed?

GUARD 2

—Indeed.

GUARD 1

Pray tell!

GUARD 2

—The city hath been built withinThe Empire’s strict specifications forDesign and building standards.

GUARD 1

—Aye, ’twas wise,Thus may the Bespin council never haveA reason for to fear the Empire’s sharpInspectors.

GUARD 2

—Verily, but follow on:That they unto the code this city builtIs not the thing that I found strange. Instead,It was the code’s requirements I did mark.For didst thou know the Empire doth requireThat any major structure shall includeAt least one chasm that’s deep and long and dark?Not only shall these chasms exist: the codeDoth further specify that they shall beAbutting pathways where pedestriansMay walk. The Death Star that was built some years

Ago had, evidently, sev’ral ofThese holes, and our Cloud City has them, too.Is not this strange?

GUARD 1

—I know them well, and didGo walking past just such a gaping holeThat led to nothingness but yesterday.But wherefore dost thou say ’tis strange, I pray?

GUARD 2

It simply maketh little sense to putSuch vast, deep holes in ev’ry structure nextTo well-worn paths. Could not a person, bySome simple misstep, fall most easilyDown one of these great chasms? So wherefore placeSuch hazards into ev’ry structure built?

GUARD 1

I see your reasoning, but shall rebut:

The Empire is the greatest strength e’er known, ’Tis true?

GUARD 2

—Of course. I’d not say otherwise.

GUARD 1

And any great thing—person, beast, or realm—Doth put its greatness on display, agreed?

GUARD 2

’Tis natural, I’ll warrant. Pray, say on.

GUARD 1

I posit that the Empire doth commandThat structures have these chasms immense becauseIt is through their immensity that ourGreat Empire’s strength is shown. And since they areVast holes that deadly are, should one fall in,They send a message strong and clear to all:The Empire is a proud and mighty pow’rAnd doth not fear sure death, but laughs at it.

I’ faith, we are so full of life that weWalk by our certain passing daily—itIs but quotidian for us—and yetWe have no fear.

GUARD 2

—Thy point is clearly made.But still, I think it strange that this is true:A structure is not whole till it hath holes.Such things lie far beyond my understanding,Yet do I trust there is a master plan.

GUARD 1

Shall we to supper, friend?

GUARD 2

—Forsooth, lead on!

[Exeunt Guards 1 and 2.

EnterLANDO.

LANDO