Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 100, Nos. 4 & 5. Whole Nos. 603 & 604, October 1992

Louis sighed. “What the hell is going on here?” The hollows of the mask had filled with sweat. He longed to blow his nose, but the nostril slits were too small. “I mean, first I get knocked on the head while I’m asleep, then I get dragged into this dump and someone glues this stupid mask to my face—”

“All our doing,” Axel admitted. “Mimi and I, that is. Yes, you see—” The skeletal man broke off, clenched his fists. “Good God, I am itching to death. Mimi, I must scratch. I must.”

“It’ll just make it worse,” Mimi scolded.

“Yes... Well...” Axel loosened his fists and gripped the leatherette armrests. “Where was I? Ah yes. You see, our good friend Rodney, having fled our phony bomb, will no doubt call the police. He will tell them to look for a man in a T-shirt with a red target on the front. A man in a mask, a mask that cannot be removed. In short, they’ll be looking for you, my dear Louis. Meanwhile, Mimi and I will take the goodies and run. We will leave you just enough loot to make this little masquerade look convincing...” Axel glanced at Mimi. “Darling, leave him a couple of hundred...” He flicked a bumpy red hand at her. “...and one of those cameras, the cheap one.”

Mimi counted ten twenties from her shoulder bag, folded them and set them on the bed with the camera. Then she bounced off the bed, parted the drapes and peeked out. “Axel, we better get going,” she said.

“This is nuts,” said Louis.

Axel rose, frowning. “It is reality, sir.” He patted Mimi’s shoulder bag. “The money isn’t much, but it will get me out of town.”

“After he blows up the police station,” said Mimi.

Axel shrugged. “A political statement.”

“Axel’s an anarchist,” Mimi explained. She yanked the drapes apart, slid the window open. “We gotta get going, Lou. Nice to have met you.”

“Yes, thank you so much for your help,” said Axel. “And now I must escape with my beloved through the window.”

“You’re three floors up,” said Louis, edging toward the attaché case on the bed.

“That is true,” nodded Axel. “Thank goodness for the balcony rails. Damn these chicken pox, though. I hope I do not scratch myself and lose my grip.”

Axel waved goodbye and turned crisply toward the window. Mimi had already climbed partway out. Louis reached the bed, grabbed the attaché case and swung it with both hands at Axel.

“Scratch this!” Louis cried. The case hit Axel on the back of the head. The skinny man collapsed like a wired skeleton that had slipped off its rack in an anatomy class.

Louis grabbed Mimi’s left leg and pulled her, whining, back in through the window. She tried backing away and stumbled over Axel. Louis caught her before she could fall, sat her down heavily in the leatherette armchair.

“I knew it,” whined Mimi. “I knew it wouldn’t work. It was Axel’s idea. He’s not all there, Lou.”

Louis shook his head sadly. He was feeling a bit sorry for the girl. “Did it ever occur to you that Rodney would give the cops your description too?”

“Well, Axel and me had it figured— Well... No.”

“Some boyfriend.”

“He tries.”

From not too far off, they could hear sirens now. Louis grabbed the shoulder bag off Mimi’s arm. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

He led her from the room. “Got a car?” he said.

“In the alley.”

As they raced down the stairs, Louis wheezed and panted. His heart was thudding harder than his footfalls. The sirens wailed like demons now, piercing the building’s stucco walls.

“I hope this joint has a back door,” he said.

Mimi led him to it.

In Mimi’s Datsun, as she drove them away from the direction of the sirens, Louis self-consciously fingered the mask.

“Don’t worry. I told you, it’ll wear off,” said Mimi. “We got more important things to think about now. Like for instance, where the hell are we going?”

“As far as the money in this shoulder bag will take us.”

“It was going to take Axel to Milwaukee.”

“Suits me.”

“Um... Lou, I just remembered something.”

“What?”

“Well, I don’t really know how to say this...”

“Say what?”

“Well... promise you won’t get mad?”

“Just say it.”

“Okay.” Mimi sighed. “There’s a bomb in this car.”

“Oh come on. Not again.”

“No, really. It’s Axel’s. I told you he was planning to blow up the police station. He’d be there by now if you hadn’t zonked him.”

Louis swallowed his panic. It burned going down. “When’s it set to go off?”

Mimi glanced at her watch. “Um... now.”

“Stop the car.”

“Okay.”

She pulled to the curb and Louis scrambled out.

The shoulder bag... It was still in the car.

Instantly he spun around back toward the door. Mimi moved faster though, darting sideways across the front seat and slamming the door in his face.

“So long, sucker!” Laughing and cracking her gum, she peeled out from the curb.

For a moment, Louis just stood on the sidewalk, watched the little Datsun speed off down the street. Then he sighed, searched his pockets, found a tarnished old quarter.