Fall of Giants

He stared at her, too shocked to speak. Then he blushed, no doubt thinking of what she had done to get pregnant. He looked down, embarrassed. Then he drank some tea. At last he said: “Who’s the father?”

“No one you know.” She had thought about this and worked out a story of sorts. “He was a valet who came to Tŷ Gwyn with one of the guests, but he’s gone in the army now.”

“But he’ll stand by you.”

“I don’t even know where he is.”

“I’ll find the beggar.”

Ethel put a hand on his arm. “Don’t get angry, my lovely. If I need your help, I’ll ask for it.”

Billy evidently did not know what to say. Threatening revenge was clearly no good, but he had no other response. He looked bewildered. He was still only sixteen.

Ethel remembered him as a baby. She had been only five years old when he arrived, but she had been completely fascinated by him, his perfection and his vulnerability. Soon I’ll have a beautiful, helpless infant, she thought; and she did not know whether to feel happy or terrified.

Billy said: “Da’s going to have something to say about it, I expect.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” said Ethel. “I wish there was something I could do to make it right for him.”

Gramper came down. “Sacked, is it?” he said when he saw the suitcase. “Too cheeky, were you?”

Mam said: “Don’t be cruel, now, Papa. She’s expecting a baby.”

“Oh, jowch,” he said. “One of the toffs up there at the big house, was it? The earl himself, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Don’t talk daft, Gramper,” said Ethel, dismayed that he had guessed the truth so quickly.

Billy said: “It was a valet who came with a houseguest. Gone in the army now, he is. She doesn’t want us to go after him.”

“Oh, aye?” said Gramper. Ethel could tell he was not convinced, but he did not persist. Instead he said: “It’s the Italian in you, my girl. Your grandmother was hot-blooded. She would have got into trouble if I hadn’t married her. As it was she didn’t want to wait for the wedding. In fact-”

Mam interrupted: “Papa! Not in front of the children.”

“What’s going to shock them, after this?” he said. “I’m too old for fairy tales. Young women want to lie with young men, and they want it so badly they’ll do it, married or not. Anyone who pretends otherwise is a fool-and that includes your husband, Cara my girl.”

“You be careful what you say,” Mam said.

“Aye, all right,” said Gramper, and he subsided into silence and drank his tea.

A minute later Da came in. Mam looked at him in surprise. “You’re back early!” she said.

He heard the displeasure in her voice. “You make it sound as if I’m not welcome.”

She got up from the table, making a space for him. “I’ll brew a fresh pot of tea.”

Da did not sit down. “The meeting was canceled.” His eye fell on Ethel’s suitcase. “What’s this?”

They all looked at Ethel. She saw fear on Mam’s face, defiance on Billy’s, and a kind of resignation on Gramper’s. It was up to her to answer the question. “I’ve got something to tell you, Da,” she said. “You’re going to be cross about it, and all I can say is that I’m sorry.”

His face darkened. “What have you done?”

“I’ve left my job at Tŷ Gwyn.”

“That’s nothing to be sorry for. I never liked you bowing and scraping to those parasites.”

“I left for a reason.”

He moved closer and stood over her. “Good or bad?”

“I’m in trouble.”

He looked thunderous. “I hope you don’t mean what girls sometimes mean when they say that.”

She stared down at the table and nodded.

“Have you-” He paused, searching for appropriate words. “Have you been overtaken in moral transgression?”

“Aye.”

“You wicked girl!”

It was what Mam had said. Ethel cringed away from him, although she did not really expect him to strike her.

“Look at me!” he said.

She looked up at him through a blur of tears.

“So you are telling me you have committed the sin of fornication.”

“I’m sorry, Da.”

“Who with?” he shouted.

“A valet.”

“What’s his name?”

“Teddy.” It came out before she could think.

“Teddy what?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t matter? What on earth do you mean?”

“He came to the house on a visit with his master. By the time I found out my condition, he’d gone in the army. I’ve lost touch with him.”

“On a visit? Lost touch?” Da’s voice rose to an enraged roar. “You mean you’re not even engaged to him? You committed this sin… ” He spluttered, hardly able to get the disgusting words out. “You committed this foul sin casually?”

Mam said: “Don’t get angry, now, Da.”

“Don’t get angry? When else should a man get angry?”

Gramper tried to calm him. “Take it easy, now, Dai boy. It does no good to shout.”

“I’m sorry to have to remind you, Gramper, that this is my house, and I will be the judge of what does no good.”

“Aye, all right,” said Gramper pacifically. “Have it your way.”

Mam was not ready to give in. “Don’t say anything you might regret, now, Da.”

These attempts to calm Da’s wrath were only making him angrier. “I will not be ruled by women or old men!” he shouted. He pointed his finger at Ethel. “And I will not have a fornicator in my house! Get out!”

Mam began to cry. “No, please don’t say that!”