Ivanov

BorkinPhew, I’m exhausted . . . I think that’s everyone. Well, what’s the latest, ladies and gents? Any news to set the ears waggling? (To Zinaida, eagerly.) Something for you, Mama dear. When I was on my way here . . . (To Gavrila.) Get me a glass of tea, Gavryushka, only skip the gooseberry jam . . . (To Zinaida.) Yes, on my way to you just now, there were some peasants by the river stripping the bark off your willows. You should have those willows farmed out to somebody.

Lebedev(to Ivanov) Throw the Judas out on his ear.

Zinaida(

alarmed) He’s right! I never even thought of it.

Borkin does ‘physical jerks’.

BorkinMust exercise, can’t get by without it. Mamasha, haven’t you got a new game we can play? I’m on top form, Marfa, I feel inspired.

ZinaidaYes, organise something – we need you.

BorkinWhy’ve you all got your tails between your legs? You look like a jury, sitting there. Let’s have a think. What do you fancy? Forfeits? Skip-rope, dancing, fireworks?

Ladies(clapping their hands) Fireworks! Oh, yes – fireworks!

They start hurrying out into the garden.

Sasha(to Ivanov)

Why do you look so unhappy?

IvanovMy head aches, Sasha, and, besides, it’s all so boring.

SashaCome into the drawing room.

They go next door, while everyone follows Borkin into the garden except Zinaida and Lebedev.

ZinaidaThat’s my kind of man – a young fellow who’s hardly here a minute and he’s cheered everyone up. (Turns down the large lamp.) No point in burning oil for nothing while they’re in the garden.

LebedevZyuzyushka, we must give our guests a bite to eat.

ZinaidaLook at all those candles . . . No wonder people think we’re rich.

She puts them out.

LebedevZyuzyushka, for goodness sake, we must give these people some food . . . young people get hungry . . . Zyuzyushka . . .

Zinaida(leaving)

The Count didn’t finish his tea. What a waste of sugar!

Lebedev(following her) Yes, dear, but . . .

Sasha comes in with Ivanov.

SashaThey’re all in the garden.

IvanovSo that’s how things are, Sasha. When I used to be working and thinking all the time, I never got tired. Now I don’t do anything and don’t think about anything, and I’m weary in body and soul. I’ve got a bad conscience awake and asleep, I feel everything’s my fault, but as to what’s my fault and why it’s my fault, I’ve no idea. And then there’s my wife’s illness, and money problems, the constant bickering and the rows and pointless conversation . . . and that fool Borkin . . . I’ve come to loathe being at home, it’s torture. I tell you frankly, Shurochka, even being in the same room as my wife, who loves me, it’s become unbearable. You won’t be angry with me for telling you. I came to see you to cheer myself up but I’m already longing to go home – Forgive me, I’m going to slip away.

SashaNikolay – I do understand – it’s loneliness that’s making you so unhappy. You should be with someone who loves you and understands you. Only love can save you.

IvanovWhat are you talking about, Sasha?! A love affair is all I need, a bedraggled old crosspatch like me. God save me from that! No, my little bright spark, a love affair is not the answer. I can bear anything – despair, ruin, losing my wife, feeling lonely and old before my time – anything but my self-disgust – that’s the thing I can’t live with. I could die of shame that a strong healthy fellow like me has turned into a sort of hangdog parody of a literary cliché – the superfluous guest!

Sasha(lightly, on the brink of tears) Nikolay, let’s run away to America.

Ivanov

I haven’t got the strength to run as far as that door, and you talk of America. (They go towards the garden.) It’s not easy for you being stuck here. When I look at who’s around, I worry about you – who is there to marry here? Your only hope is for some passing lieutenant or student to steal you and take you away . . .

Zinaida enters with a jar of jam.

You go ahead, Shurochka, I’ll catch you up . . .

Sasha goes out into the garden.

Can I ask you something, Zinaida?

ZinaidaWhat is it?

Ivanov(hesitates) Well, the thing is, the interest on the loan is due the day after tomorrow. I’d be awfully grateful if you could defer it, or let me add it to the lump sum. I have absolutely no money at present.

Zinaida(alarmed) How can I do that, Nikolay? What sort of business arrangement is that? No, don’t even think of it, for God’s sake, don’t upset me like this . . .

IvanovI’m sorry, I’m sorry . . .