Sex with a Stranger

She wipes her mouth with a tissue. A beat, then—

ADAM. And do you miss meat?

GRACE. Bacon sandwiches.

ADAM. Yes!

GRACE. Oh my God I so miss bacon sandwiches! Sometimes if my flatmate’s making one, I’ll have a bite on his.

ADAM. Bacon’s not bad anyway is it.

GRACE. Yeah.

Silence. They eat.

ADAM. This is yummy.

GRACE. Mmmmmmm!

He watches her eating for a moment. Then, getting up—

ADAM. I’m gonna get a Coke. Sure I can’t get you a Coke?

GRACE. Yeah. I don’t want to be up all night.

ADAM. Well you can share mine if you fancy it.

GRACE. I’m fine.

ADAM. Cool.

He goes to the counter at the back of the stage. She eats with her back to him. Silence. He stands there with his back to us and her. Hold on this. He looks back at her without her knowing. A beat of his disappointed, despairing, blank look. He looks forward again, his back to her and us. A beat.

Blackout.

Empty stage apart from a shirt that’s the same as the one ADAM’s been wearing throughout the play, still in its packet from the shop, unopened. ADAM comes on topless. He picks up the shirt, opens it and puts it on. It’s creased from being folded in its packet.

ADAM (calling offstage). It’s creased!

No response. He tuts and harrumphs. He looks at himself in an invisible mirror. He tuts.

What am I gonna do?

He looks in the mirror. No response. He takes it off.

Ruth, it’s really creased!

He goes offstage.

(Offstage.) Ruth!

Blackout.

They’re in the cab. The car radio plays in the front. She’s leaning forward, speaking to the invisible cabbie.

GRACE. It’s just past Homebase.

She sits back with ADAM.

I love cabs. It makes me feel like I’m famous.

ADAM. I think you’ll be famous one day.

GRACE (pleased

). Do you?

ADAM. Yeah. Of course.

GRACE. I don’t know…

ADAM. Of course you will.

GRACE. Tut. I dunno.

A beat.

I wouldn’t want to be too famous.

ADAM. No.

Long silence, just sat there looking out of their windows, the radio playing in the front.

GRACE. Such a crazy night.

ADAM. Yeah.

A beat.

GRACE. I had a real chilled day – really nice – just sitting round and vegging out – spoke to my mum, which was nice—

ADAM. Oh. Nice.

GRACE. Yeah.

ADAM. She okay?

GRACE. Yeah.

ADAM. Good.

GRACE. Just a really chilled day. Nice to have a bit of downtime isn’t it.

ADAM. Definitely.

Long silence. Car radio. They just sit there. He scratches his hand. He offers her some chewing gum.

GRACE. Thanks.

She takes one and sits there chewing. Silence. Car radio.

And so cool. Getting a cab.

ADAM. Yes!

GRACE. I usually walk!

ADAM. Do you?

GRACE. Yeah. God… This is the life! Jesus… Hilarious…

He smiles for her. Long silence. Car radio in the front. She looks at him and feels the bottom of his shirt.

This is nice.

ADAM. Thanks.

GRACE. Where d’you get it?

ADAM. Can’t remember.

GRACE. It’s nice.

ADAM. Thanks.

A beat.

GRACE (about the cabbie). We should make out. Give him something to look at.

She laughs. He laughs for her. They just sit there, looking out of separate windows, chewing

.

Blackout.

Outside GRACE’s front door. GRACE is trying to find her keys in her bag.

ADAM. It’s a lovely house.

GRACE. It’s from the sixties.

ADAM. Very nice.

GRACE. Sorry – they’re definitely in here.

ADAM. It’s fine.

She looks. He’s trying to be patient. He points.

They’re nice.

GRACE. The lady upstairs does them.

ADAM. Oh. Nice.

GRACE. She’s a bit of a bitch but she’s cool. (Signalling around them.) She looks after the garden as well.

ADAM. Nice.

A beat.

They’re not in your pocket are they?