Sex with a Stranger

GRACE (with an edge). Who with?

ADAM (the tiniest hesitation). Friends.

GRACE. Oh my God. Abi’s done that. Funny… So funny. God… I can’t wait to tell her…!

ADAM. Yes!

A beat.

GRACE. So what d’you fancy?

ADAM. Erm—

Blackout.

They both have non-matching shot glasses she’s poured tequila in.

ADAM. That was funny at the door wasn’t it?

GRACE. Yeah. Amazing. God.

ADAM. Amazing!

GRACE. D’you want salt and lime?

ADAM. Erm. Yeah. Okay. Sounds good.

GRACE. I’ve definitely got salt. I don’t know if he’s got—

ADAM. Don’t worry.

GRACE. Actually, he keeps a lot of stuff in his bedroom—

ADAM. Honestly, I’m fine.

GRACE. Okay. Cool. (About the glasses.) I didn’t know we had these.

ADAM. Ha!

A beat.

(At the fridge.) Who’s that?

GRACE. My nan. She’s dead now.

ADAM. Oh. Sorry.

GRACE. Thanks.

They look at their drinks.

ADAM. Shall we?

GRACE. Yes!

Blackout.

ADAM waits outside the bathroom. GRACE washes her hands and her teeth and uses mouthwash.

Hold on this for a while – they do the things they would. His phone rings. He’s startled and silences it. He watches it flashing in silence.

She flushes and comes out, just as he puts his phone away. She sees. He knows she’s seen. She pretends she hasn’t.

GRACE. All right?

ADAM. Yeah. Yeah.

Blackout

.

GRACE’s hallway. They don’t hold each other.

ADAM. Such a long hallway.

GRACE. Yes. It is isn’t it. I’ve often thought that.

ADAM. Very clean though.

GRACE. Thanks. We’ve got a cleaner. She’s so fucking expensive.

ADAM. Is she?

GRACE. Yeah.

A beat.

(At a wall.) That’s my flatmate. I think he worked in France for a bit. He’s night manager in the big Sainsbury’s.

ADAM. So is he at work?

GRACE. I don’t know.

ADAM. Can we find out?

GRACE. I dunno.

A beat.

I met him on the internet. He seems nice though.

ADAM. That’s nice.

A beat.

GRACE. Can you guess which bedroom’s mine?

ADAM (immediately). That one?

GRACE. Yeah.

She giggles.

Well here we are!

ADAM. Yes!

GRACE. I’ll just check if—

ADAM. Yeah. Cool.

GRACE. Cool.

Blackout.

ADAM waits on his own. His phone buzzes and he takes it out of his pocket and watches it flash in silence. He holds it and lets it ring off. He puts it in his pocket. He waits.

Blackout.

GRACE comes back on.

GRACE. All done!

ADAM. Great.

GRACE. The bed’s quite low so be careful of your shins.

ADAM. Yeah. Thanks.

GRACE. And I’ve found you a towel for the morning.

ADAM. Great.

GRACE. D’you have any plans for tomorrow?

ADAM. Oh. You know. Don’t know.

GRACE. Cool. Take it as it comes.

ADAM. Yeah.

GRACE. Cool.

She pecks him on the lips. A beat.

ADAM (through a smile). So shall I come in? Or are we gonna stand here all night?

GRACE (through a smile). Yeah.

Blackout.

ADAM’s sat in a concert hall, programme in hand, listening to a violin solo.

Blackout.

GRACE’s wedding day. She speaks through a microphone. The responses are pre-recorded and sound as if at a wedding – in a big tent, loads of people rustling, laughing, etc. She reads her speech from a piece of paper.

GRACE. It is no secret that I have always believed in love at first sight. I didn’t know if I would but I always held out hope that I’d meet the man of my dreams and fall head over heels in love. (Clears her throat.) As a lot of you will know, I kissed many a frog before I found my Prince Charming. But when I met Paul I knew that it was worth the wait. Not only is he a very successful and intelligent man, and a true Christian, but he has also has a great sense of humour and we have an amazing time together. (Looks up to the audience.) He is the night sky that lets my star shine. (Turning to him, reading again.) Paul, I want to tell you that – I want to tell you that my heart will always be yours. May our hearts live on for the rest of our days – and beyond – intertwined and warm with the glow of our everlasting love. I will always be by your side.

The crowd ‘aaaaaah’s.