Sex with a Stranger

I would like to propose a toast – so if everyone (Very slightly garbled.) would be upstanding and charge their glasses—

The sound of everyone standing up.

To my love, my companion and my husband, Paul.

EVERYONE (voice-over). To Paul!

Blackout.

GRACE’s bedroom. ADAM and GRACE snog, cold, hard. He goes to take her top off. It’s difficult. She’s letting him but not making it easy for him. Eventually she pulls back.

GRACE. Sorry. D’you mind if we turn the light off?

ADAM. No. No.

Going to do so—

GRACE (as if she’s being funny). Thanks. Sorry. I’m a bit of a light-phobic when it comes to these night-time… things…

ADAM. Or we could have the lamp on?

She stops.

GRACE. Erm… Okay. (Laughs

.) Yeah. Why not?

She turns the light off. The stage is in darkness. She crosses the room in darkness—

(Walking into something.) Ow. Fuck.

– and turns the lamp on. The room is dimly lit now. GRACE is rubbing her shin.

ADAM. Is that okay?

GRACE. You don’t want to turn it off?

ADAM. Erm. I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt my shin as well!

GRACE. It hurts.

She rubs it. Awkward. Still smirking, he goes over to her.

ADAM. Come here…

He kisses her briefly.

It doesn’t hurt.

They kiss, cold. He goes to remove her top again. Again she lets him but doesn’t help him. He manages to remove it. Her bra is dowdy, basic, unsexy. She pulls back.

GRACE (as if it’s funny). Sorry. I don’t want to go on like an idiot but I don’t feel comfortable with it so I’m gonna put the light on in the hallway and then we can turn the lamp off and the lights will still come in under the door. So it’s the best of both worlds and everybody has their fair share. Okay?

Nothing. He just kisses her breasts and tries unsuccessfully to undo her bra

.

Adam.

ADAM (not aggressively, quietly as he kisses her breasts). Stop going on about the light and help me get your fucking bra off.

A beat. Ambiguity in GRACE’s response.

Blackout. Silence.

End of Act One.

ACT TWO

RUTH and ADAM’s living room. RUTH comes in with two cups of tea. ADAM sits onstage, in clothes different from (looser, less impressive than) those in the first act. He no longer has gel in his hair. He coughs over her first line.

RUTH. Chloe showed me her wedding dress.

ADAM. Sorry. I couldn’t hear you.

RUTH. Chloe showed me her wedding dress.

ADAM. Oh God.

She hands him the mug.

RUTH. Careful. It’s hot. No it was nice actually.

ADAM (taking the mug). Thanks.

RUTH. It’s white.

ADAM. Like she should be wearing a white dress!

RUTH. Yeah! And it’s one of those ones that covers her boobs—

ADAM. She hasn’t got any.

RUTH (laughing). Adam!

She spills a bit of tea.

Shit.

Blackout.

He’s still on the couch. She’s on her hands and knees, scrubbing where she spilt the tea. He drinks from a cup of tea. Hers sits on the floor.

RUTH. So it’s like it covers them so it looks like she’s got them but we don’t have to see them – as if we could! – and there’s these big roses on it—

ADAM. Oh no…

RUTH. Yeah. I mean it’s quite nice – for her – but—

ADAM. It’s so typical.

RUTH. Oh yeah.

ADAM. And fucking roses…

RUTH. Yeah. She’s always liked roses. Unfortunately. And she’s having this garland – she showed me the designs on the internet – like a garland for her hair with roses in it.

ADAM. What is it with roses?

RUTH. Yeah. I know! Weird. It’s pretty though. It’ll look pretty on her—

ADAM. But—

RUTH. – but – yes – stop with the roses, Chloe!

She laughs.

ADAM. What is wrong with her?!

RUTH. I know…

ADAM. All this fuss!

RUTH. I know…

ADAM. It’s just a wedding!

She laughs for him. A beat. As she finishes scrubbing—