Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

ALBUS: And it’s something I should have said a long time ago. In fact, you’re probably the best person I know. And you don’t — you couldn’t — hold me back. You make me stronger — and when Dad forced us apart — without you —

SCORPIUS: I didn’t much like my life without you in it either.

ALBUS: And I know I’ll always be Harry Potter’s son — and I will sort that out in my head — and I know compared to you my life is pretty good, really, and that he and I are comparatively lucky and —

SCORPIUS (interrupting): Albus, as apologies go this is wonderfully fulsome, but you’re starting to talk more about you than me again, so probably better to quit while you’re ahead.

ALBUS

smiles and stretches out a hand.

ALBUS: Friends?

SCORPIUS: Always.

SCORPIUS

extends his hand,

ALBUS

pulls

SCORPIUS

up into a hug.

That’s the second time you’ve done that.

The two boys break apart and smile.

ALBUS: But I’m pleased we had this argument because it’s given me a really good idea.

SCORPIUS: About what?

ALBUS: It involves the second task. And humiliation.

SCORPIUS: You’re still talking about going back in time? Have we been having the same conversation?

ALBUS: You’re right — we are losers. We’re brilliant at losing and so we should be using our own knowledge here. Our own powers. Losers are taught to be losers. And there’s only one way to teach a loser — and we know that better than anyone — humiliation. We need to humiliate him. So in the second task that’s what we’ll do.

SCORPIUS

thinks — for a long time — and then smiles.

SCORPIUS: That’s a really good strategy.

ALBUS: I know.

SCORPIUS: I mean, quite spectacular. Humiliate Cedric to save Cedric. Clever. And Rose?

ALBUS: That I’m saving as a sparkly surprise. I can do it without you — but I want you there. Because I want us to do this together. Set things right together. So . . . Will you come?

SCORPIUS: But, just a minute, isn’t — wasn’t — the second task took place in the lake, and you’re not allowed to leave the school building.

ALBUS

grins.

ALBUS: Yes. About that . . . We need to find the girls’ bathroom on the first floor.

ACT TWO, SCENE SEVENTEEN

HOGWARTS, STAIRCASES

RON is walking down the staircase, consumed in his thoughts, and then he sees HERMIONE and his expression changes entirely.

RON: Professor Granger.

HERMIONE

looks across, her heart leaps a bit too (though she won’t admit it).

HERMIONE: Ron. What are you doing here?

RON: Panju got in a little trouble in Potions class. Was showing off, of course, and put the wrong thing with the wrong thing and now he has no eyebrows and a rather large mustache, apparently. Which doesn’t suit him. I didn’t want to come but Padma says that when it comes to facial growths, sons need their fathers. Have you done something with your hair?

HERMIONE: Just combed it, I suspect.

RON: Well . . . Combing it suits you.

HERMIONE

looks at

RON

slightly strangely.

HERMIONE: Ron, will you stop looking at me like that?

RON (summoning confidence): You know, Harry’s boy Albus — said to me the other day that he thought you and I were — married. Ha-ha. Ha. Ha. Ridiculous, I know.

HERMIONE: Very ridiculous.

RON: He even thought we had a daughter. That’d be strange, wouldn’t it?

The two lock eyes.

HERMIONE

is the first to break away.

HERMIONE: More than strange.

RON: Exactly. We’re — friends, and that’s all.

HERMIONE: Absolutely. Only — friends.

RON: Only — friends. Funny word — friends. Not that funny. Just a word really. Friends. Friend. Funny friend. You, my funny friend, my Hermione. Not that — not my Hermione, you understand — not MY Hermione — not MINE — you know, but . . .

HERMIONE: I know.

There’s a pause. Neither of them move the smallest inch. Everything feels too important for movement. Then

RON

coughs.

RON: Well. Must get on. Sort Panju out. Teach him the finer arts of mustache grooming.

He walks on, he turns, he looks at

HERMIONE

. She looks back, he hurries on again.

Your hair really does very much suit you.

ACT TWO, SCENE EIGHTEEN

HOGWARTS, HEADMISTRESS’S OFFICE

PROFESSOR McGONAGALL is onstage on her own. She looks at the map. She frowns to herself. She taps it with her wand. She smiles to herself at a good decision made.